girls got a face like murder x

i think i'm paranoid...

2008-10-13T23:16:39Z

...arrrghhh.

this is driving me insane.
not even sure what.

amazing.

2008-10-06T21:35:17Z

there is certainly something to be said for seeing a younger boy...man...guy...

it has only just occurred to me...

2008-09-17T18:54:30Z

what right do you have (as a perfectly healthy young man/woman) to be on the dole? why are you paid money to do nothing with you life (but party)? it's a bit of a joke.

get a job please!

it's making me want to tear my skin off and throw it at you and then vomit in your mouth as well. i now find you that obnoxious.

no offense...ish.

wooosh

2008-08-29T11:12:15Z

i think everyones dreams came true last night.

except mine.

one life to live, live it with a hangover.

ughhhhhhhh

2008-08-18T00:14:24Z

none of you even know me!

get off!

birthday week...

2008-08-12T22:32:34Z

sunday; si's birthday, bowling like an absolute girl, mcdonalds and bobs house for beers and guitar hero. awkward?
monday; an excellent four course pub dinner alongside two bottles of eighteen pound wine from the rhone valley with my mum and christine, followed by a questionable night in becky's sisters house...with cider...followed by everything falling apart...
tuesday; me waking up to a million phone calls and texts...and it may sound silly but i'm glad i was thought of by some people in such a situation...just wish situations didn't happen! but everything was put right again by cups of tea and a five course french meal prepared by my mom! christine and i do enjoy french cuisine.

accidental boyfriend has well bought me john paul gautier perfume for my birthday...therefore i have to continue the charade until he goeeesss back to the army...or else i'll feel guilty as shit.

and tomorrowww we will have to see.
am missing too many people from my life for this to be perfect x

and...

2008-07-27T22:21:24Z

if i've offended anyone in the last week, i apologise. this includes punching, slapping and even crying over you.

self destruct.

fuck.

2008-07-27T22:19:19Z

i am fucking amazing.

girls, we are far too old for this kid shit.

2008-06-30T13:36:44Z

for children to cause that much murder between us is an absolute joke.
they really need to find something better to talk about.

i am going to leeds.
i payed far too much for my ticket.
i don't care.

and no, i can't hold down a boyfriend (either.)
i don't even want one.
sound.

the break of dawn and our hearts are racing.

2008-06-23T13:12:54Z

everyone goes on and on about forgiving and forgetting and moving on and grieving and putting things in the past and getting over things. but i'm not buying it.
i've had a lot of these feelings since ninety four. (for fucks sake, i was seven in ninety four. that makes me feel young as hell).
so why not make it permanent? ha ha ha.

hmmm...

2008-06-08T23:37:56Z

at least there's that.

dear my dearest bibby,

2008-06-05T11:14:30Z

i hate you...

FOR REAL.

you're welcome.

like two passing ships in the night.

2008-02-05T03:10:16Z

i'd rather not. i've got the whole world to worry about. i really really do.

www.thefreedictionary.com

2008-01-18T13:55:08Z

in·se·cure (ns-kyr)
adj.
1. Not sure or certain; doubtful: unemployed and facing an insecure future.
2. Inadequately guarded or protected; unsafe: A shortage of military police made the air base insecure.
3. Not firm or fixed; unsteady: an insecure foothold.
4. a. Lacking stability; troubled: an insecure relationship.
b. Lacking self-confidence; plagued by anxiety: had always felt insecure at parties.

happy new year.

2008-01-02T18:55:25Z

i am in love with every boy, ever.

omg

2007-12-01T03:42:56Z

i could listen to nas for the rest of my life.

yeah and whatever, you know i care about you. and everyone else.
and it's not even like that, so don't even suggest it.
and i know loads of people cooler than you, so that's not the case either. ahaha, i kid i kid.

live hip hop, live.

i love youuu

2007-11-30T00:22:36Z

i'm not one for regrets, but...

sometimes, like now, i wish i could go back and change everything. really.

i feel more lonely than i have ever felt in a long time. but i've been here before. it's like going back to first moving here and not having close friends. or the transition from being close to mike/aaron/marc to being close with jo/chris/danni. that period of time in between was actually really lonely, drifting apart from the boys, but still not sure of my friendship with the girls.

again, i feel like i don't have any close friends anymore. i really really miss some people. i miss the things we'd get up to, making time for doing silly things throughout the week, hanging out on tuesdays with the girls, going for pointless but amazing drives with the boys late at night, ending up in random places like park gate and aj's garage. two thousand five had to be my favorite year ever. evan was even there for a bit of it! of course i miss her the most, but that's always, isn't it.

i'd have to say that aaron, christine, jo marc and mike were the five people that got me the most in this country and i wish i could see them all more. that sounds hilarious. AND EMMA. I CAN'T FORGET ABOUT EMMA. WE HAD SOME AMAZING TIMES. ILU.

i don't even know anyone in uni now that i'm a year behind. i am so thankful to work with nice people and a few friends. even the new girls are fun - tara with her drawn on eyebrows and hannah with her australian accent. boss. we have a laugh. and of course all the guys that work there - i'm in love with them all, obviously. work has definitely become something to look forward to. i even get excited on the hour long journey there - sending dumb early morning texts to people like jo and perfecting my makeup - best part of the day. i work thirty seven and a half hours a week and i love it.

i absolutely hate the way i write on livejournal...

well well well...

2007-11-25T00:51:20Z

according to a certain little girl, i've had half, if not all of the north west.
buuut i'd just like to clarify that i've only actually had four of the north west. and i've been living here for 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006 and 2007. so therefore, not even one per year. unlike, her record of boyfriends which i know at least five of recently (and i'm not even counting.)
mate, i am single, sexy (not quite) and free and therefore able to get jiggy (oh yes) with whom i please. and just because i don't quite do relationships as of yet, (due to the fact that in my mind at the moment, 'the male species does not love.') are we not equal in learning to 'shut our legs'?
i mean am i not less of a slag than she is?
don't hate.

thanksgiving was immensely successful.
i like to see my mum that happy, doing what she loves, being an amazing hostess and throwing massive dinner parties with lovely food.
i'm quite happy!

facelikemurdax @ 2007-11-21T22:55:00

2007-11-21T23:15:54Z

i may sound like a hypochondriac, but the area where i presume my heart resides has started to hurt as of late, like throughout the day.
but i've only been without thyroid and blood pressure medication three weeks. and i've kept up with my adderall. (as my dad is very shit at refilling and shipping my perscriptions!)
maybe that's putting stress on my heart? oooh, perhaps.

"my family tree is losing all its leaves."

2007-11-19T23:02:25Z

so this is what it feels like to have a full time job. eat/sleep/work on repeat. i'm beginning to understand what some people have meant. i can't say that i don't enjoy it though. it's just a lot. thirty and soon to be thirty seven hours a week. plus university four hours a week... i don't know if i have time for anything else. with thursdays and fridays off, i end up sleeping...a lot. maybe one night out a week, if i can be persuaded by housemates. but i really don't mind. i don't feel like i'm missing out on anything. i've probably been there/done that (and ten times worse.) seeing friends stops at working with aaron/marc/aj/maybe even dean and living with siobhan/manon/naddine/sally j/sally. so that's just colleagues and housemates. as far as the others go, i keep in touch through silly little comments/text/e-mails/even letters here and there. i guess it's up to people to not forget me! :)

i do enjoy sending people mail/slipping secret presents into coat pockets at work/leaving notes around house. three activities that help me cope with the days and days of monotonous activitieees.

and very much enjoy these...///!

gutted

2007-11-10T18:58:02Z

i hate it when people lie ;)

and

2007-10-18T00:17:57Z

when i say the people that think i'm 'ignoring' them, that includes those of you who consider me 'boring' for not going out every single night to every single shit student night to get steaming and waste my moneyyy!!!

that i couldn't be without you babe.

2007-04-17T20:37:12Z

do you remember the first time, i can't remember a worse time.

2007-03-02T02:32:44Z

you would never think that i live with all girls.
our kitchen is actually covered in porn.
it makes a great place to hang out.

do i look like a dick everytime i like a guy and the guy likes my friend and not me? haha, gutted.

don't stop, push it, and i will give it all to you.

2007-02-24T02:07:42Z

i ended up crying on craig's shoulder for some dead gay reason.
i think he was out for his birthday but he was on his own at that point.
aaand the boy in the black sweater vest (the one pulling my top down) called me a dirty/filthy whore/slut/bitch and then proceeded to strangle me. fucking freak.

...wild nights.

michael and jude have asked siobhan and i to go see shiny toy guns and the sounds with them on sunday night. michael is well after siobhan. i want to cry. ha ha haaa. plus side, alan's band is well supporting them. i miss people like alan.